The FA has a somewhat chequered recent history when appointing the Chosen One to manage the England team, taking a scenic route through the tactically blank days of crowd favourite, (but football clown) Kevin Keegan; the cool, calculated and successful qualification periods of Sven-Goran Eriksson; further English ineptitude in the form of matey ‘Wally With The Brolly’ Steve McClaren; and the calm, authoritarian tenure of Fabio Capello.

It’s interesting to note that both foreign coaches had won more major trophies than the previous five permanent English incumbents (Graham Taylor, Terry Venables, Glenn Hoddle, Kevin Keegan and Steve McClaren) combined. Not since Bobby Robson has England had an English manager who can be considered truly successful both home and abroad.

Despite the inflated salary and relatively few days of actual work per year, who in their right mind would covet the job? There has been a history of press vilification of England managers for the best part of 25 years: even Robson was repeatedly slated until he happened upon a relatively successful team for the 1990 World Cup – which nonetheless went out to the West Germans in the semi final. Perhaps the most famous abuse was that meted out to his successor Graham Taylor by the Sun, which dubbed its hapless victim ‘The Turnip‘. The papers have also registered xenophobic reactions to more tactically astute foreign players – see the Daily Mail‘s January 2009 Ballon D’Or awards headline ‘The best players in the world (and Xavi)‘. A similar treatment of foreign managers also prevails in that august journal.

“So, the mother country of football, birthplace of the greatest game, has finally gone from the cradle to the shame. We’ve sold our birthright down the fjord to a nation of seven million skiers and hammer throwers who spend half their lives in darkness.” Daily Mail Chief Sportswriter, Jeff Powell

It seems that whether managers lose, draw or even win without scoring enough goals – or playing with “English passion”, whatever that is – they are cannon fodder for the nation’s press and talk-radio phone-in pests. So, which options are available to the FA when making an appointment that effectively has the power to change an entire population’s mood this summer.

No 1. “Friend to the press”

Arguably the appointment of Redknapp would be the populist choice. The media love him because of his willingness to discuss topical football issues. Popular with the public and players – even those who have never worked under him – Redknapp has been criticised in the past for his lack of tactical acumen, but would no doubt install a cheerful bonhomie in the England camp, which could be a boon for the Euro 2012 competition.

Not being a personal fan of Redknapp, this could in my view turn to disaster – both for the team in general and ‘Arry in particular – if he affords his beloved media with the slightest reason to turn. There is also the thorny question of who will begin the costly negotiations for ‘Arry’s services with Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy, for whom the manager is currently doing a respectable job.

No 2. “Short-term appointment, long-term plan”

With the Euro tournament only four months away and England already qualified, the FA could choose to bring in a short-term solution and give themselves time to decide upon a permanent manager to build upon the success (or otherwise) of the intermediary. This could work well if the short-term manager creates a charged and compressed siege mentality in the squad – set to be filled with the tattered remnants of the Golden Generation on their Final Mission of Glory before they retire to a life of management, punditry and pub ownership.

There is one man who, in my estimation, could fit this brief nicely. He’s already decided he will be free in the summer; he doesn’t like long-term appointments… and if there’s anyone you’d want to reinvigorate a side when you’re one nil down in a crunch game, he’s your man. Step forward: Jose Mourinho. It may not be a pretty idea, but it will certainly be an effective one.

The next manager could then be brought in with a remit to change the style of the team and bring in younger players. And somehow, against traditionally long odds, the FA must take pains to reduce the pressure of expectation on their appointment – either by openly defending their man, or clearly defining achievable objectives.

No 3. “The long shot”

Blue-sky thinking is not a management buzzword that the FA normally bandies around, however desperate the times. But potential long shots include:

• Herve Renard – feted after his success at the African Cup of Nations with unfancied Zambia;
• Hope Powell, the long-term England Women’s Football Manager; or…
• Sir Clive Woodward – a football devotee who successfully masterminded the England Rugby team to World Cup success in 2003. Although he may be a tad busy this summer with his role at the Olympics.

If all else fails, I hear the would-be Machiavellian Paul Buckle thinks he can do the job – despite being ousted from Bristol Rovers after a disastrous start to the season. Even though he brought half of the successful Torquay United squad with him. If nothing else, Buckle’s departure has led to upturns in fortune for both clubs.

So, who should be the next England manager? What kind of approach should the FA take? And which qualities does the manager need to bring together to motivate the feckless stars of English football? Do you want to apply for the job – may not quite be official?

Let us know in the comments below!

England shirt image courtesy of stephen mulcahey / Shutterstock.com