What did you do this lunchtime? Eat some sushi? Go to the bank? Go to the post office perchance? What if your “lunchtime” fell at 3am or eight in the morning? You could forget about paying that bill or sending that letter, and I bet that spider roll is starting to sound less appetising too.

This is the scenario that many employees, of which I am one, find themselves in on a daily basis. Working antisocial hours is more often than not the domain of the underpaid, but far from getting motivated by their plight, the timing of their hours makes it harder for these workers to attend interviews or even apply for jobs, sucking them deeper into the nocturnal rabbit hole.

Remember that smart kid in your school who got a job at the local pub washing glasses at age 16, eventually came to fewer classes, and who you saw last Christmas working in the bar telling punters of their as yet unfinalised plans to “go back to college”? I rest my case.

My own experience isn’t quite as bad as that. I start shifts at 5am and finish shifts at 11pm. I should point out that I don’t run both brutal schedules in the same day. At least, not usually. My hours allow me time in the day to walk the dog and get to the shops. Yes, I say that with the same level of enthusiasm that shopworkers are heard saying that working Saturdays affords them a “day off in the week” – as if that were compensation for never being able to spend weekends with their friends. And the irregularity of hours at my part-time job means that a 25-hour week regularly leaves me more exhausted than my old 36-hour, nine-to-five schedule.

The management implications of these irregular hours are all too clear: sleep-deprived workers get less work done, and probably do it less well. And no customer wants to deal with an extra from Night of the Living Dead when they come in to make a purchase.

In contrast, I’m always amazed at the amount of work the night shift – a gig from 10pm until 6am – get done. However, they probably still have trouble running the logistics of their everyday lives. During cigarette breaks with the night crew, I hear that most of them have plans to get work elsewhere. Most of them never leave.

Irregular hours seem counterproductive to the company and the staff in both their working and family lives, while night shifts cut you off from society and the job market. It’s not ideal for a company to have staff wanting to quit. But with very few chances to do so, it sure helps with staff retention.